december intentions + writing updates for this year

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Here’s what I feel like I had to learn in 2020 before executing on what I’m planning for my December intentions: I basically spent a whole bunch of time coming up with ideas for both blogs + books but never really committing to which I wanted to focus on creating first. Also, I had been helping Reid create his online course and launch his company for most of this year, so when he launched before Thanksgiving, I feel like a huge weight lifted, and now I feel more free to start committing to what content I want to create for my own writing. I think I’m finally giving myself permission to stop feeling guilty that I’m in such a place of privilege to be able to focus on my […]

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thoughts I thought while in the shower today — “on me, my inner critic, & I”

shower thoughts

Today, I thought I’d wake up and write about stuff I thought about in the shower. I sometimes see it as a game to retrace my trains of thoughts to figure out, “How the heck did I start thinking about that?” I’m going through the Anxiety & Worry workbook my therapist recommended, and Chapter 3 includes a worksheet to fill out my “Dangerous Thinking” profile. This was the worksheet my therapist mentioned specifically, so naturally, I’m doing it today before my follow-up appointment is tomorrow. Hey, at least I’m not doing it the morning of — progress!! Now, I’m making an active effort to address my anxiety: instead of avoidance & procrastination of all the things, I’m dealing with or doing something about it! trying to capture my secret […]

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wake up, post

wake up

Figure I’ll actually give this a try for one day out of the 7,852 days I’ve been saying I should. This being: just wake up and write about whatever I want to write about that day, then publish it to my blog. Today, I’m thinking about social anxiety. (Just realized I used a writing prompt I heard about yesterday subconsciously. “Today, I…”) Anyway, on an average day, I care about what other people think of me. I know I “shouldn’t”, but I do. I care A LOT. One, I feel like I shouldn’t care, because everyone says, “Just be yourself and don’t give a flip if someone doesn’t like you because of it, then you’ll naturally attract your people!” I’ve actually given this advice myself to others when talking […]

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spring breezes [on signs & synchronicities]

spring breezes

I have this devotional on my Kindle with journal prompts about finding the magic in everyday life. However, I’ve fallen behind as of late (no surprise there), but also, no worries, because I just catch right on up whenever I happen to think about it! Which I did today. I opened my Kindle cover and realized that I hadn’t read this particular eBook since April 24th. For April 25th, the day’s prompt was titled “Spring Breezes” — “What could be more wonderful than to push open the window after a long, stuffy winter and feel the spring breezes wafting inside, blowing away the energetic cobwebs of a long, cold season? Even if you are fortunate enough to live someplace where you can actually open your windows in December without […]

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I release… anxiety

lincoln anxiety

This morning, I did my Yoga with Adriene Yoga Camp Day 11 practice, for which the mantra was, “I release.” So I thought I’d share something I’ve been working on releasing during this shelter in place period: anxiety — and the stories I tell myself surrounding (and because of) anxious thoughts. Focus in the Present I’ve always been an overthinker. I actually came to think of it as being tied to my empathetic nature, because I can imagine and understand so many different perspectives, I’m constantly questioning how this person would respond if I said this, or how that person would react if I did that. Needless to say, during this COVID quarantine, I’ve had a lot of time alone with my thoughts. From having to sit with them […]

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I’m an addict: purpose & procrastination

passion led purpose

I wonder if there’s anyone else on the planet who ponders “life purpose” as much as I do. I think I’ve thought about it every single day since I was but a wee recruiter crying in my car en route to work back in 2016. Just to give a small piece of evidence for proof of how much I ruminate on finding my “purpose”, I currently have 39 iPhone notes that mention the word. That’s not even including how many times I’ve focused on it as the subject of my handwritten diary entries! Everyone says to just chase your passion and then you’ll end up finding/living your purpose. Well, it appears I’m passionate about… finding purpose. Reid always tells me that it’s at least better I’m asking all these […]

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To write, or not to write? January 30, 2020 // 5:25 pm

create today diary

Dear Diary,  I’m reading the heroin diaries by Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue and had the thought to try and write a diary entry in his style. Where it basically goes: first say why you’re picking up the notebook to write in that moment. Then what’s on your mind, your thoughts, feelings, and details about recent past events. Maybe some pondering of future plans.  Right now from the couch as Reid plays Rocket League before I decide to get up and start cooking dinner, I’m reading about how Tommy would go over to shoot heroin with Nikki but would never let himself do too much or be there for too long because it scared him.  I watched The Dirt last year and for some reason became obsessed with it. […]

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