how to make your get fit plan with “fuck being fat”

how to make a plan to fuck being fat

i’ve been saying i want to lose weight since 2013, when reid and i got married and i gained 20 lbs in a summer. so, this is me committing to actually make a plan and take intentional, trackable action towards that end in december 2020.

first off, alan roberts opens with a disclaimer so i feel i should take this opportunity to as well:

i fully intend to use colorful language on my blog and in my novels, because i’m nothing if not colorful.

i just think it’s the silliest thing that someone would create a word only for it to be deemed “bad” or “unsavory” or “offensive”. i personally think it’s offensive that someone would create a word with such great emphatic effect as “fuck” and then try to make me feel bad about using it where i deem cursing like a sailor as positive for my mental health.

and i’m writing this blog post now because self-sabotage and procrastination can fuck right off.

(does “fuck right off” sound fancier if you imagine me saying it in a posh british accent like on “love island”? because that’s how i say it in my head. anyways, i digress — which the author says too in this book btw! love it.)

notes + quotes from “fuck being fat” by alan roberts


to stick to it, you need to visualize your reason for desiring to lose body fat and it needs to be a motivating enough desire for you to follow-through.

“One of the most necessary fucking life skills there is [is] being able to cook [your] own food. if a person does not know how to cook, they are vastly more likely to be overweight.”

“Fuck Being Fat” by Alan Roberts

**Disclaimer: This page contains affiliate links, so I may earn a commission when you make a purchase through links on my site at no additional cost to you.**


I am not going to make this into an exercise book… you cannot out-exercise eating too much shitty food. most people are not even physically capable of the activity they would need to be able to burn the calories needed to lose the weight.”

“that is one of the reasons why i decided to write this book: to put out in very simple terms, because i am a very simple man, the math + knowledge that a person needs to be able to at least know what targets they are shooting for when they decide it is time for a change.”

fuck being fat by alan roberts

recommended diet “rules” or intentions:

  • intake 1 gram of protein per pound of lean body mass a day.
  • intake less than 32 grams of sugar max per day.
  • just drink water or black coffee until noon.
  • drink half your weight in lbs in ounces of water daily. (ex: weigh 140 lbs drink 70 oz/day.)
  • ~1pm lunch of 25 – 33% of daily calories.
  • ~7pm dinner of 66 – 75% of daily calories.
  • “the ratio of the plate is normally one fist-sized portion of protein, 2 fists of vegetables, and the inside of my palm-sized portion of carbs.”

5 steps to make your “fuck being fat” plan with MATH

  1. calculate current body fat % (bf%)
    1. you’ll need your current weight in lbs (w) and measurements to plug into the u.s. navy formula
  2. calculate lean body mass 
    1. lbm = (100% – bf%) x w
  3. calculate ideal goal weight 
    1. igw = lbm / (100% – desired bf%)
  4. calculate bmr (or bee) with tdee (total daily energy expenditure)
    1. bmr = how many calories you burn just by breathing
    2. tdee = your bmr x an activity modifier to get daily caloric intake to maintain w
    3. use this harris-benedict calculator (+ they call tdee caloric intake, just fyi)
  5. figure out calorie deficit 
    1. w – goal weight = [lbs to lose]
    2. (3500 x [lbs to lose]) / (days to do it in) = daily caloric deficit 
    3. tdee – daily caloric deficit = daily target net calories to stay under 

make your “fuck being fat” plan along with me

i first weighed myself and took measurements on sunday november 29th, then finished the book and these steps for myself on tuesday december 1st, and when i weighed myself again on thursday december 3rd i’d lost 4 pounds since that sunday!

i’m mainly chalking it up to the weight i’d gained over thanksgiving falling off quickly at the beginning, but still, i wanted to prove that i could still eat my mac n’ cheese and midnight cereal with chocolate syrup and that what he says in the book is true – as long as you’re consuming less calories than your determined caloric deficit, even if they’re all calories of complete crap, you will lose weight. it’s just math.

and right now before i post this on monday december 7th, i’ll do it again for myself as an example and to see just how often one might need to redo the calculations to adjust for weight loss.

5 steps of calculations

  • calculate current body fat % (bf%)
    • my current weight in lbs (w) = 142.2 with clothes on because i’m being lazy and trying to not have to take them off –> 141.0 with them off, so #worth! i still lost even after giving myself the weekend off from tracking which i’d hoped i could!
    • my measurements —
      • waist size at narrowest point: 30″
      • waist size at your naval: 32″
      • hip size at widest point: 41″
      • neck at narrowest point: 13.5″ (rounded up to 14 for calculator)
      • height: 5′ 2″
    • plug into the u.s. navy formula = 32.92% body fat, down from 33-point-something% last sunday
  • calculate lean body mass 
    • lbm = (100% – 32.92%) x 141 = .6708 x 141 = 94.5828
  • calculate ideal goal weight 
    • igw = 94.5828 / (100% – 24%) = 94.5828 / .76 = 124.45… = rounding to 125 lbs
      • ( i’m using 24% as my ideal goal body fat percentage, as it’s the top end of the “fitness” range for women, and it’s also the top of the “healthy” recommended range for men. )
  • calculate bmr (or bee) with tdee (total daily energy expenditure)
  • figure out daily calorie deficit + target net calories
    • 141 – 125 = [lbs to lose] = 16
    • (3500 x 16) / 99 days to do it = daily caloric deficit = 565.6565656565…
      • how to decide your “days to do it in” — start with a motivating deadline for you, then make these checks:
        • your daily target net calories shouldn’t be under 1000 as an absolute minimum
        • you should plan to lose 2 lbs per week max
      • i chose by my 30th birthday — march 16, 2021
    • 1957 – 566 = daily target net calories to stay under = 1,391 kcal/day

track it

so now i just put 1,391 as my target net calories in my loseit app and track everything i consume and any exercise i do for the weekdays!

Making your own commitment to fuck being fat + lower your body fat percentage? Let me know in the comments!

**Disclaimer: This page contains affiliate links, so I may earn a commission when you make a purchase through links on my site at no additional cost to you.**

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