Tuesday, September 10, 2019: Walmart parking lot in Moore, OK

ew gross

I just had the thought that maybe writing would seem easier if I just treated it like a Facebook post gone long that I would end up saving to draft and never posting. So here goes my first attempt at that!

Imma be real y’all, RV grossness is coming up. I know it’s been awhile, but if you were squeamish at my Instagram video series of dumping the black tank, you may not wish to continue reading.

Well people, it’s finally happened. To my mom Dianne Corbin, all your YouTubers weren’t wrong about this being a real issue for RVers. Especially after we left our RV untouched for months, I was so sure that we would come back to find this then. However despite my fears, we never faced this problem… Until now.

We awoke on Sunday to spy with our little eyes none other than mouse droppings on our counters, ladies and gentlemen. Being the optimists and positive thinkers we are, we decided to say the following to each other while truly trying to convince ourselves:

“Well, that’s just because we’ve been in the same Boulder County Fairgrounds campground for two weeks straight, it was bound to happen at some point, but they’re nocturnal, they probably just jumped up into the rig, played in their metaphorical playhouse for the evening of exploring, then disembarked our vessel prior to sunrise.”

“Yes, let’s go with that shall we?”

However, then today, we woke up with more droppings. And we moved locations yesterday. So, now we no longer have plausible deniability and we have to deal with this shit. Literally.

So we drive to our next Walmart where we are for this evening, and Reid goes in to buy mousetraps while I wash dishes from dinner. He comes back out and asks if I can put the dishes away then he’ll set the traps.

I tell him that they’re not dry yet and then he says that we can dry them with a towel then because they shouldn’t be out overnight with the mousetraps set.

I say, “Is that because when the traps work, mouse guts spray everywhere??”

Reid goes, “Well I was just thinking about how I don’t want them to poop on our freshly clean dishes, but yeah that too.”

“I’ve never really thought intimately about how mousetraps work until we’re now faced with using them,” I say.

“Me neither,” Reid says, “But do you wanna see how one works?”

“Oh, you can reset it more than once? Wait, your finger!”

Reid demonstrated how the mousetrap snaps by holding what I’ll call “the main snapper” with his thumb while triggering the trap lever with another finger before moving said finger out of the way and releasing the main snapper.

I begin to have very conflicted feelings about using these mouse traps. Especially since I used to have mice for pets! And it’s not their fault the RV is probably a wonderful home for them! They’re all, “Hey man I scored this jackpot of a pad! There’s toilet paper in the cupboards and dog hair on the floor to build your nest with, and a tasty peanut butter treat?? This place is too much!” Then SNAP. It is indeed too much.

I tell Reid as much, and then add, “Also, I don’t like how the mousetrap brand name is ‘VICTOR®️’. Nobody wins in this situation! Because either 1) the mouse trips the trap and then we’ve murdered a mouse and have to clean it up, or 2) we don’t catch any mice and then have to wonder indefinitely if they’re still there!”

Which is why I’m glad this is our last night in the RV for a little while. Perfect timing 😅

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