I’m an addict: purpose & procrastination

passion led purpose

I wonder if there’s anyone else on the planet who ponders “life purpose” as much as I do. I think I’ve thought about it every single day since I was but a wee recruiter crying in my car en route to work back in 2016. Just to give a small piece of evidence for proof of how much I ruminate on finding my “purpose”, I currently have 39 iPhone notes that mention the word. That’s not even including how many times I’ve focused on it as the subject of my handwritten diary entries! Everyone says to just chase your passion and then you’ll end up finding/living your purpose. Well, it appears I’m passionate about… finding purpose. Reid always tells me that it’s at least better I’m asking all these […]

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To write, or not to write? January 30, 2020 // 5:25 pm

create today diary

Dear Diary,  I’m reading the heroin diaries by Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue and had the thought to try and write a diary entry in his style. Where it basically goes: first say why you’re picking up the notebook to write in that moment. Then what’s on your mind, your thoughts, feelings, and details about recent past events. Maybe some pondering of future plans.  Right now from the couch as Reid plays Rocket League before I decide to get up and start cooking dinner, I’m reading about how Tommy would go over to shoot heroin with Nikki but would never let himself do too much or be there for too long because it scared him.  I watched The Dirt last year and for some reason became obsessed with it. […]

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Morning Routine for 2020

manifest and chill

My AM Routine — adapted from a YouTuber I started following for her Tarot videos: https://youtu.be/s-k57bu_Gko. Dream journal + write set intentions/dreams/goals for the day, begin drinking water* Light a candle then meditate 20+ minutes with headphones Make tea or coffee (with Lion’s mane powder? Possibly ordering from Amazon soon) Finish DMG Diary-ing (including Tarot daily draw) while drinking tea/coffee, then brush teeth when done Move body 30+ mins – yoga, walk Lincoln, or elliptical** (…while watching one of my trash TV guilty pleasure shows) Brush Lincoln for 10+ mins, then get myself ready for the day Tidy/declutter/clean space if needed Start taking action on intentions to manifest! (which will most likely be heading to MillHouse for writing and publishing a blog post each workday, aaaand getting a certain […]

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toxin flush | Nékter juice bar copycat recipe

toxin flush green juice

A friend in California introduced me to the Nekter juice bar when I worked at Ozobot, whose office was a mere 3 minutes away from the closest Nekter location. I tried their Toxin Flush once and fell in love with how healthy I felt for drinking green juice, and especially for actually loving the flavor (particularly of the parsley and ginger)! However, ain’t nobody got bank for that $5 juice every day! (Or at least, I don’t.) That’s worse than a Starbucks habit I didn’t even have in the first place. So, I asked for a juicer the Christmas before we moved into the RV but then didn’t have space (or most of the time, electricity) for it in the RV. It’s been in the boxes we shipped via […]

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champion

champion seashore

Sunday night, I began re-watching The Black Cauldron on Disney+. Within the first quarter-hour, Taryn talks about how he wants to be the greatest warrior Prydain has ever known. To become their champion, and then he’s assigned the task of keeping Henwen the seer pig safe. His purpose is clearly laid out before him. Then his actions the rest of the movie are defined by and stem from that calling. I guess I’ve had this mindset (possibly from Disney but also from reading books) that one day, a quest would be thrust upon me and I would know without a doubt that it was my purpose to overcome the challenge or defeat the villain or complete the adventure. Yesterday, I did the Yoga with Adriene practice for the day, […]

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Hello December, you last month of the decade you!

amazeballs armchair

Oh boy, November flew by. So fast, indeed, that I almost allowed myself to forget about failing at Nanowrimo… almost. But we’re moving forward into December! Alas, what with winterizing and moving out of the RV, moving into our new apartment, a trip to Austin, family in town for Thanksgiving, and my ever-persistent self-sabotage and lack of discipline, I did not win Nanowrimo this year. Not even close. A far cry from 50k with my 10,808 words, but hey, those are ten thousand words I wouldn’t have otherwise. And, I’ve finally decided on my first writing project, after changing up my plan and outline about 13 times over the course of the week and a half I was actually really trying for Nanowrimo — I’m committing to writing a […]

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“Are you scared?”

scurred

“Are you scared?” “Are you scared?” After he asked me the question Thursday night, Reid’s voice echoed inside my head. And my gut reaction instantly was to nod my head “yes” and let the tears flow. *** I don’t even remember the first part of our conversation leading up to that question right now, just that my perception of it was clouded by how freaked out I was getting that NaNoWriMo started the next day. Reid, noticing my impending distress, took off his headset, set down the Xbox controller, and came to sit next to me on the couch. Wrapping his arms around me, he asked an honest and insightful question that maybe only someone who knows me so well could. “Are you scared?” And holy moly, am I […]

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